Friday, June 19, 2009

Don't Tell Tom Cruise...

Apparently there is an up-side to being depressed... free meds! I just got home from Walgreen's where I picked up my first prescription of Zoloft - which my insurance company pays for and is "safe" for breastfeeding. That's right... since Nathan was born, I have been suffering postpartum depression - I just wasn't ready to admit it to myself (or anyone else) until earlier this week. So for those of you who were wondering where I've been - I have had no interest in anything - blogging, running, eating... I have really just not felt like myself, and I hate it! I had a long talk with a good friend on Monday and she told me that it was time to talk to my doctor about how I was feeling - but most importantly, that it was okay. Some women bounce back from all of the hormonal changes very easily, and some don't - and apparently I'm in the "don't" group. I knew early on that I didn't feel right, but I thought it was because we were having breastfeeding issues. I kept telling myself that I would feel better once we got the breastfeeding worked out. Nathan was 7 weeks old when we finally got it figured out, and he is now almost 12 weeks and I'm still not feeling better, so I am opting to accept medical help. It will probably take a couple weeks for the meds to start working, but I am looking forward to the day when I can enjoy the things that I used to! So - to all my friends who I have been neglecting - I am SO sorry! It is nothing personal and I'm trying to get it straighted out. Over the next week or so, I will be trying to get everyone caught up on Nathan's birth, surgery, growth progress, vacation, and other happenings, so check back often! I think it will be good for my mental health to get everything out in the open!

I'm headed out the door for some sushi!!!! I haven't had any since before I was pregnant (not "real" sushi, anyway), so this is long overdue! I hope everyone has a great weekend!


T Z said...

Glad you are on the way back. I was very secretive about anyone knowing of my depression, and the meds worked fairly well. I took myself off of them in February, and stepped up my running. So far so good. Believe me, when you get back into it and start getting your mils up, you will feel great.

About that sushi...I want a full report. (And any leftovers ya might have brought home!)

Suzi said...

I struggled with the same thing early on! It can make things so hard because you just don't feel right... and it you are anything like me there was a huge amount of guilt associated with that too! I am glad to hear that you are talking with someone about it though. I tried Zoloft and for me, it seemed to make things worse so I am actually on a whole regimen of vitamins that really seem to be helping. If you are interested even in using them in conjunction with the Zoloft, I would be happy to send you the list. Email me

It takes a very strong person to admit to all those feelings, so good for you! I am glad you are on the road to recovery. And cannot wait to hear more about Nate!

meg said...

You're not alone!! I had it with both my kids and the meds really do help. Hang in there Candice, it'll get better. Glad to see you out with us! :)

Susan Michaels said...

I am dealing with depression and anxiety now myself. The dr. tried me on several anti depressants and both of them made me feel worse. I went off of them and now am trying to find something that works. I think something like xanax or valium would help but it is habit forming and very scary so I am talking to my dr. about finding something that works but not addictive.
Best of luck to you and praying for a speedy recovery.
IF you find out from your friend Suzi what her vitamin regimen is that is helping her please let me know.
hope to see you and nate soon.

Crystalle said...

Hey, Candice!

I hope you don't mind me "blog stalking"; I found your blog through the Runner's World blog and thought that the name of your blog was hilarious, as is the title of your post. You are one funny lady!

I wanted to comment on your post to say that I admire you for seeking help and for openly talking about your depression. There is a social stigma associated with medications and psychological and psychiatric health issues, perhaps because people think that it is an inability to cope and that only “crazy people” are on them. I will even admit that I once, albeit subconsciously, thought that inner strength and faith and counseling should be enough to help one through adverse times. However, I have learned that sometimes the chemical “wiring” in our bodies needs a little boost, and that is okay.

I hope that the Zoloft works for you and that you are restored to your normal self soon. :)

Chrissy (Cooper) Whitten said...

Hey girl! I'm glad you shared this with us. I know it's not easy putting it out there. I went through this in 2006 and 2007...sadly I didn't know you could have post pardum after a miscarriage, but I did. I gained over 30 pounds and felt like a zombie (not the TZ kind) for a long time. I went through therapy to help me out, since at the time I was dealing with my lovely allergies.

I think right now...going through my fertility treatment has made me depressed. I'm trying so hard to believe God...but I have to tell's all kicking my butt...this hormone crap is not fun. I haven't been around our running group :( since the night at Mazzios....sorry's just been a tough road. I promise I will be beack after the 29th...I'm gonna need you either way the test results come back.

Thanks again for's nice to now we're not alone! Hang in there girl!